


maybe it's time to come home

by hilourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Christmas Fluff, Fingering, M/M, Make up sex, bottom!Louis, i just wanted to write a christmas fic, it's all very mushy, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilourry/pseuds/hilourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wants a baby. Harry doesn't. They fight, they separate, but they always come back to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe it's time to come home

**Author's Note:**

> WE PUT UP CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS AND IT PUT ME IN THE RIGHT MOOD TO FINISH THIS FIC EVEN THOUGH CHRISTMAS ISN'T EVEN A BIG PART OF IT BUT ANYWAYS ENJOY :))) 
> 
> PS: if you don't like any of this, don't feel the need to read it!!! it's all very simple :)

It's the end of September when Harry and Louis start their relationship. Two years later, it’s the end of September when Harry and Louis get married. A year after that, it’s the end of September when Harry and Louis’ relationship falls apart. 

They got married on their anniversary, September 25th. Louis suggested it would be romantic, and the date happened to fall on a Saturday that year. Harry smiled and kissed him, agreeing that it would be lovely. 

So, for their one-year wedding anniversary, Louis wanted it to be special. He wanted to make a big gesture to show how happy he was to be married to Harry, to show how much he loved him. 

Harry had to stop by work since the bakery was unusually busy for a Sunday night. He normally doesn’t work at the bakery lately, since he’s the owner and handles the finances and other aspects of his business. Right now, he’s trying to open another location, so he’s been pretty swamped. But when the bakery is particularly busy, he’ll roll up his sleeves to help. He got his start by working in a bakery, by learning how to be somewhat of a pastry chef. Working in a bakery is what got him through university and helped him get his degree in business. 

Harry almost didn’t want to go, saying he wanted to stay with Louis since it’s their first anniversary and it wouldn’t be fair, but Louis loves all the employees at the bakery, very fond of them, and tells Harry they need him more than Louis does. Harry promises to be back before dinner so they can celebrate properly. 

Louis works on a romantic meal while Harry is off at work. He used to be total shit at cooking, cereal being his go-to meal, but Harry has taught him well over the years they’ve been together. Earlier in the day, Louis had gone out to the store to buy everything he’d need for their meal. For dessert, the top tier of their wedding cake is defrosting on the counter. Louis smiles at it fondly. Their wedding day was absolutely perfect, exactly the way they both wanted it to be. It was simple, but with elegant touches. It was a nautical theme, to match with their tattoos, of course. The invitations had small anchors tied with ropes on the top. The cake was white with navy blue stripes on the second tier and the bottom of the top tier, a golden rope tied above it. They settled on a blue velvet cake, so when it was cut, the color matched the fondant stripes, complete with a cream cheese frosting. 

Louis shakes his head, smiling to himself and looking down at the silver band on his left hand. They were always happy, but since getting married, things got even better. Louis couldn’t believe how unbelievably perfect everything felt between them, how lovely their new home was, how in love they were with each other. 

Steak was one of Harry’s favorite things, and he’s been cutting back on red meat lately for his health. Louis understood, so the two of them had been eating more lean meats like chicken, but it was their anniversary and they were going to indulge. Louis picked up filet mignon, Harry’s absolutely favorite cut of meat. Louis had just gotten a promotion with his magazine company, now being the Editor in Chief, so he splurged for the more expensive steak.

He found a recipe on Food Network for filet mignon with a mushroom-wine sauce, a side dish of glazed baby carrots and a spinach and goat cheese salad, and got a bottle of Harry’s favorite red wine to match. Harry often spoils Louis with extravagant dinners and rich desserts, and Louis knew tonight would be a perfect night to do the same for Harry. 

Pandora is playing on his iPad sitting on the counter, recipe pulled up for him to read. He hums softly along to The Script station. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels arms around his waist and a face pressing into his neck.

“If this isn’t Harry, I’m in a lot of trouble,” Louis says, his heart rate picking up from the scare. 

“Who’s Harry?” Harry asks, voice dark. “Never heard of him. Hope he isn’t your husband. He wouldn’t like where I’m touching you right now.”

Harry drags his hands lower, holding Louis’ hipbones and pulling his ass back into his groin. He bites into Louis’ neck and then kisses the reddened skin. 

Louis giggles, biting his lip. “Dinner’s almost ready, babe. Save this until after.”

“What if I can’t wait?” Harry asks lowly.

Louis turns in his arm, putting his hands on Harry’s chest and leaning up for a kiss. “I made filet mignon. Trust me, you’re going to wait.”

“You didn’t,” Harry grins. “I smell wine sauce.”

“You have a lovely nose,” Louis laughs, bopping him on his nose with his index finger. “Filet mignon in white wine and mushroom sauce. Side of glazed baby carrots and a spinach salad with goat cheese and walnuts. Please I’ve got a bottle of your favorite red breathing for you.”

“God, I love you,” Harry says, leaning down to suck Louis’ bottom lip into his mouth. Louis smiles into it, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 

“Alright,” Louis breaks their kiss, turning his head to Harry kisses his cheek and jaw instead. “Let’s eat before it gets cold. I have some presents for you, anyway.”

“Presents? This dinner is plenty. I can’t believe you did all this for me,” Harry says, looking at the table all set up with candles lit and a dark red tablecloth. 

“It’s our anniversary,” Louis shrugs. “I couldn’t resist.”

“Happy Anniversary, again,” Harry grins, kissing him. They shared their greetings when they woke up, exchanging morning blowjobs and lying in bed for much longer than acceptable for grown, working adults. But, they’re still technically in the realm of newlyweds, so it’s fine. 

“Happy Anniversary,” Louis smiles fondly. “C’mon, let’s eat. I’ve been trying my hardest not to pick on everything I made.”

“I know what you mean. I was staring so hard at the cream puffs at the bakery but I kept telling myself we’d be having our wedding cake tonight.”

“Did you have any cream puffs?” Louis asks sternly.

Harry pauses. “Just one!” 

Louis shakes his head and laughs. “You’re so weak.”

“It was easier when I was around them all day!” Harry whines as Louis holds his hand and drags him to the kitchen table. “Now that I’m never there I cave!”

“No self control,” Louis rolls his eyes with a grin. 

They sit at the table, folding their napkins into their laps. Harry lifts up his wine glass already filled, courtesy of Louis. 

“I’d like to make a toast,” Harry says, and Louis laughs, lifting his own glass. Toasting with only the two of them there and making it seem like they’re in front of a crowd; it’s such a Harry thing to do. “I never thought it would be possible to love someone as much as I love you. Having you as my husband this past year has been the happiest year of my life. I know most people say after getting married, the spark is lost and everything gets boring, but I think we’ve only gotten better. I’m so proud to wear your ring on my finger and you on my arm to show everyone we belong to each other. Here’s to us, and a hundred more wedding anniversaries.”

Louis smiles, tears in his eyes. They clink glasses and drink, Louis’ hand reaches out to hold Harry’s on the table. Louis’ thumb rubs Harry’s knuckles and he places his glass down. 

“I love you so much,” Louis murmurs. “That was beautiful. I don’t know if we’ll quite make it to a hundred more years, but I appreciate the optimism.”

“Another hundred years with you wouldn’t be enough,” Harry tells him earnestly and kisses Louis’ hand. 

“No, it wouldn’t be,” Louis smiles softy. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the years we have in front of us now.”

“You’re right,” Harry smiles. “We’ll enjoy every second of it.”

They eat their meticulously planned meal; Harry moaning at how tender and juicy the steak came out, complimenting Louis to no end. They chat about how Harry’s day went at the bakery, how nice it was for him to work with his hands for the first time in a long time. 

After dinner, Harry clears the table, forcing Louis to sit down and absolutely refuse to let him do the cleaning. Harry makes them cups of tea and brings the cake to the table once everything is settled in the dishwasher. 

“Let’s do gifts first,” Louis suggests.

“Sure,” Harry agrees. “Let me fetch mine.”

Harry and Louis both go to grab their wrapped gifts, then come back to the kitchen with them, putting them on the table for the other to open. Harry places two small gifts side by side, both wrapped in silver wrapping paper and light blue ribbons tied around them. Louis also has two gifts for Harry, but only gives him the small box to start with, wrapped in a gold wrapping and a black bow. The other gift is tucked behind Louis’ back and ready to be given last. 

“You go first,” Harry urges, and Louis smiles. He opens up the gift Harry pushes towards him, snapping open the black velvet box to find personalized cufflinks. They’re navy blue with an anchor in the middle and his first and last initial on either side in white. Louis feels tears well up in his eyes. He almost laughs, since nautical is such an ongoing theme for them that they’ve fallen in love with. The cufflinks are gorgeous, and he likes to wear them at work to give himself that extra professional feeling. 

“This is beautiful,” Louis sniffs, laughing wetly. “So gorgeous.”

“Thought it would match our dessert,” Harry smiles. “I thought it would look great with a white button up. I fell in love with them.”

“I love them,” Louis says. “So much. And I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Harry leans over to press a kiss on his cheekbone. “Open the other one.”

Louis follows his instructions, finding another black velvet box waiting for him. He opens it up, slightly confused for half a second. It’s Harry’s favorite ring: his thick, silver band with a turquoise design on the front. Louis doesn’t wear rings besides his wedding band, and there’s no way Harry’s ring would fit Louis’ much smaller fingers (he’s already tried that multiple times). But this wasn’t just a ring, but with a chain, making it into a necklace. It’s Harry favorite, but also Louis’. He loves the color, loves the chunky look of it, and Harry is giving it to Louis.

“What is this for?” Louis asks.

“Well, it is our anniversary, if you forgot,” Harry laughs. “This is just a little extra.”

“This is your favorite ring though, babe.”

“Yeah, and you’re my favorite person. I know you love it, and I thought it would look gorgeous around your neck. That way you can have a part of me everywhere you go, no matter what.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” Louis says, voice wavering. “Quit it.”

Harry laughs softly, grabbing Louis’ hand and squeezing it. “Sorry, sorry. Do you like it? If you don’t you can tell me.”

“No, no, I love it! I don’t know what to say. It’s a beautiful gesture, baby. Thank you so much. I’m going to wear this every day.”

Harry smiles wide, his eyes bright. “Let me put it on for you.”

Louis grins and hands over the necklace. Harry stands up and moves behind Louis’ chair, putting the chain around his neck and clasping it in the back, letting it fall between his collarbones. Louis touches his fingers to it and smiles fondly, welcoming the new weight.

“It’s beautiful,” Louis whispers. “Thank you.”

They share a soft kiss, but Louis breaks it, pushing Harry towards his chair. “C’mon, open mine now.”

Harry unwraps his own present, finding a gold and off-white watch face with a brown, soft leather band. Harry grins, looking up at Louis.

“You knew I’ve wanted a watch like this.”

“I listen to you,” Louis shrugs. “I know what you like. I know that sterling silver one your mum gave you is too heavy and clunky for you. This one is more…your style.”

“Oh, definitely,” Harry says. “I like that watch, but it’s always moving around and it’s hard to type with because it gets in the way. This is perfect, though. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

“It’ll look great with your gold wedding ring,” Louis grins. Louis preferred silver, but Harry liked gold, so they decided to have different toned rings. 

“You’re right,” Harry laughs, taking it out and putting it on his wrist. “Perfect. So much lighter. It’s so much more comfortable. I could easily forget I’m even wearing this and not constantly be reminded by it making noise and moving around my wrist.”

“I’m really glad you like it,” Louis says. 

“Thank you so much for dinner and for the watch. This anniversary has been amazing,” Harry says. “Best one year anniversary anyone has ever had.”

“I doubt that,” Louis giggles. “People go on holidays. We just stayed home.”

“Right where I want to be,” Harry assures him. “Trust me, it was perfect. Let’s end it right with our delicious cake and some very hot sex.”

Louis laughs loudly, shaking his head. “I have another gift for you. Just a little something.”

“What? What did you do?” Harry asks. “You did so much already.”

“It’s really nothing,” Louis says. 

Harry stands up to get a knife, forks, and plates for them, plus putting out mugs of tea for them. Harry sits, taking a sip of his tea.

“Alright let’s see it, then.”

Louis pulls the neatly wrapped box from behind his back, the wrapping paper covered rocking chairs, teddy bears, rattles, bottles, and other baby-related things. Harry’s face falls slightly, and Louis’ heart stops. Harry clears his throat and carefully rips the wrapping paper off. The white box underneath is plain and Harry lifts the lid off. There’s a newborn onsie sitting inside, navy blue with a white anchor printed in the middle. Louis could laugh at how well it matched his cufflinks if Harry’s panic wasn’t so prominent. 

“You’re…you’re pregnant?” Harry asks, voice higher than normally.

“No,” Louis tries to smile. “Not yet, at least. But I thought…we could discuss it. We’ve been married for a year, so this could be our chance to start trying.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Harry coughs into his hand. 

“You could give me an answer,” Louis says, trying to make it sound like a joke. 

“Um, I don’t know how to say this nicely.”

“You don’t want a baby.”

“No. Well, not now. I’ve got so much happening with the bakery and you just got promoted. This isn’t a good time.”

“We’re already married. We’ve been together three years. I didn’t know we had to wait for a perfect time. I don’t think there even is a perfect time to have a baby. If we wait, we’ll never have any kids. We can handle it.”

“We’ve twenty-five years old, Louis. We have plenty of time ahead of us.”

“I don’t want to wait forever, Harry!” Louis argues back, starting to lose his cool. He thought Harry would be thrilled and they’d hug and kiss and eat cake off of each other’s bodies, and this certainly wasn’t part of the plan. Louis never would have guessed Harry would react this badly to something as lovely as a baby.

“I didn’t say forever! Just, not now, alright? Let’s focus on our careers for a while.”

“I can do both,” Louis challenges. “Our jobs aren’t everything. We both have stable jobs with good hours, for the most part. I’ll take paternity leave for a while. You’re making this into a huge deal!”

“A baby is a huge deal!” Harry shouts. “I don’t want a baby right now! Can we drop it?”

“No! We can’t just “drop” it! We’re married, we have to compromise and communicate. It’s not just what you want, it’s about what we both want.”

“Well, we both want different things. What are we supposed to do about that?”

“Try and come to some sort of conclusion.”

“There’s no compromise to make here. We can’t have half a baby. It’s what you want or what I want, and one of us won’t be happy in the end. If I have a say in it, you’re going to be the one getting hurt. Me being the father of your kid will require, well, me.”

It feels like a slap to the face, a stab to the heart, a fire in his belly, and every other painful event that could occur. Tears fall down his cheeks, his nostrils flaring as he tries not to scream, not to sob. 

“Well, maybe we aren’t right for each other then,” Louis whispers. “Maybe we need time apart. We don’t want the same things, and…and it’s not going to work.”

“What the fuck are you saying?” Harry bites. 

“I’m saying…we need time to think. By ourselves. I think you should…move out for a while,” Louis puts his arms around himself, sinking into the chair. “I need time to think about this. Us.”

“Why do I have to move out?” Harry shouts. “Why not you?”

“Because I put the down payment on the house when you were still working at the bakery and because all I wanted was to give you a gift and you ripped the whole night to shreds. You’re the one completely stomping on everything I’ve wanted and it’s…it’s not okay. We need time alone. We need to think about what we want and what we’re willing to sacrifice for each other. Right now, we aren’t thinking clearly, and I think we just need time apart.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Harry yells. “Can’t we just put off having a baby for a while and drop it for now?!”

“I am putting it off, Harry. I’m giving us time.”

“I don’t mean time apart!”

“The way you’re shouting at me right now only makes me more sure we need a break. Just…please, leave. I just want to me alone and think about this.”

“You’re being ridiculous! We’re fighting over something we don’t even have!”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem! We don’t have it and you’re not even entertaining the thought. I’ve wanted a baby for a very long time and I haven’t said anything about it. I kept it to myself. But I thought when we got married kids would be our logical next step. It’s not like I sprung this on you the night of our wedding or anything. It’s been a year. We’re both at good spots in our careers and I don’t understand why you won’t even consider it.”

“Because it’s not something I want right now! We’re too young to have that much responsibility. I want a few more years just…alone with you before a kid comes along and ruins that.”

“Oh lovely. Now our fictional child is going to ruin your life? That’s really sweet. You should really leave now. I really, really can’t look at your face right now.”

Louis stands up, aggressively wiping the tears off of his cheeks. He turns around and walks to their study, a study that could easily be turned into a gorgeous nursery. Louis lets out a sob, falling into the plush white chair by the window. A few weeks prior, when he made the decision that he’d bring up the idea of a baby, he went to a baby store, unable to help it. Actually, it’s how he got the inspiration. He was on his way to get tea on his break from work, and he passed a cute little shop. Everything was so tiny, so many mothers and fathers, either expecting or pushing carriages. Just watching men and women with babies, or with swollen bellies, gave Louis such a burn of desire in his gut. Stepping into the shop happened before he could even stop himself.

It’s where he found the onsie he gifted to Harry, and he also couldn’t resist buying a baby book. Well, two, actually: a pregnancy book and a book of names. He hid them in their study, pushing them to the back of the bookshelf. Harry doesn’t use the study very much, since Louis uses it more when he needs a quiet place to write, where the light streams in perfectly from the window and puts him in the right headspace. A lot of times, Harry sits with Louis though, in the same chair he’s sitting in. Harry would come in with tea for them, sitting with a sketchbook to draw or plan out some stuff for the bakery. Harry is a very artsy type, and Louis thought about Harry painting the nursery, maybe a cute mural on one of the walls, because he’s got so much talent and it would add so much character to the room, and such an intimate, personal touch. Now, it’ll just be an office where Louis sits, alone.

Louis can hear Harry in their bedroom, sounding like things were being thrown around the room. Louis shakes his head, figuring he’ll deal with it later. Harry is being hotheaded, which is out of character for him. Usually, it’s Louis. Right now, Harry needs to cool off and they need to think about what this relationship really means to the both of them. 

He pulls the pregnancy book out of its hiding spot, tracing the cover with his fingers hesitantly, as if it might bite him, or maybe yell, like Harry did. It doesn’t, though, so Louis opens up the cover. 

As he reads, he can hear in the distance the front door slamming. He curls in on himself, wiping the tears that don’t seem to stop falling. There was no goodbye, though Louis didn’t really expect it, anyway. 

When he comes out of the study, unable to handle the eerie silence of the flat any longer, he goes to finish cleaning up the kitchen. What he finds in the kitchen makes Louis’ stomach fall. His skin prickles and his chest constrict.

Their wedding cake is still sitting on the table, but it’s completely smashed. It looks as if Harry drove his fist through the top of it, the whole thing caving in. Louis lets out a loud sob. He picks up the destroyed cake and aggressively throws it into the trash, the whole thing crumbling. Louis hopes it’s not a metaphor for their marriage.  
~  
“What’s the real reason we’re out for lunch?” Liam asks, picking on a piece of bread. “I can tell something is way off.”

“Why do you say that?” Louis asks, taking a sip of his water. “It’s just been a while since the two of us have gotten together. You know, just by ourselves.”

“We’d only need to be by ourselves if you needed to talk about something you didn’t want Harry to talk about. Is everything alright? Are you pregnant?” Liam asks, voice getting higher.

Louis almost wants to laugh. Harry knows everything about him, but Liam is a close second. They’ve known each other since they were young, and Liam can always tell when Louis is lying or when something is wrong. 

“Why…why do you think that?” Louis asks. 

“Oh, I just thought maybe...maybe you were afraid to tell Harry. I’m wrong, I guess?” Liam asks sheepishly.

“Um, not completely,” Louis clears his throat, Liam perking up, but Louis shakes his head. “No, I’m not pregnant, but…I brought up the idea to come last night. I wrapped up a onsie and gave it as one of his gifts, and we got into a big fight about it. He said he isn’t ready, and we should wait longer and focus on our careers. He completely blew off the whole idea.”

“Oh, Lou, I’m so sorry,” Liam murmurs. “I would have never have guessed.”

“Yeah, I didn’t either,” Louis scoffs. 

“What happened, then?”

“I told him to move out,” Louis shrugs sadly. “We don’t want the same things. We need some time apart to think. I can’t live in the same house with him right now, not after what he said to me.”

“Maybe that’s…that’s best. You need space.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. He wasn’t happy about it, though. He just wanted me to drop the whole idea of a baby and make up with him. I’m not going to give up just because what he said to me, though. I’m not sacrificing my wants and needs to please him.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Liam agrees. “I know it sucks but I think you made the right choice. It’s something you’ve wanted for a long time and you shouldn’t be shut down without a proper conversation about it.”

“I just can’t believe some of the stuff he said to me. It…it killed me. I have this awful feeling sitting in my gut. I couldn’t even sleep last night. I never thought he would hurt me this badly. I didn’t think…I didn’t think he’d be so against having a baby with me.”

“He didn’t say that, Lou,” Liam says softly.

“He may as well have, though,” Louis says, a little louder. “He made it very clear.”

“He’ll come ‘round,” Liam soothes. “I’m sure of it. He won’t be able to stay away from you for too long, trust me. I give it a week.”

Louis sighs deeply, shredding his bread but not eating it.  
~  
A week goes by, and nothing has changed. Harry’s side of the bed is cold and the trace of his smell is pretty much gone. Louis hasn’t heard a peep from Harry, and he isn’t even sure where he’s been staying. He’s not with Liam, Niall, or Zayn, because he’s checked already. 

Louis’ been doing nothing but going to work and coming home. He’s gone grocery shopping once because he had absolutely nothing in the house, but other than that, he stays at home, mostly in his bed, sulking. He’s brought the pregnancy book into his bedroom, since there’s no one to hide his secret from. Only him, the book, and the apartment know about it. 

He’s also been going through Pinterest, starting a secret board of baby things, like nursery themes, clothes, toys, and anything related to babies. He knows he can’t have one without Harry, wouldn’t even dream of doing it without Harry, but the thought of being a parent overwhelms him in the best way possible. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about being pregnant, Harry being protective and loving and unable to contain himself from rubbing and kissing the little bump they’ve created together. He can’t help but think of what it would be like afterwards, having an actual baby to take care of, Harry singing it to sleep in his arms, murmuring loving words to their child, and having an unlimited amount of love for the little person they brought into the world together. 

Louis’ crying again. He knows it would be best to stop thinking about having a baby, and start thinking about what this might mean for his marriage. But whenever he thinks about the future, Harry is there, and he’s incapable of imagining a life without Harry by his side, with or without children.  
~  
Gemma gives birth to a baby boy in October. Harry sends him a simple text letting him know what hospital she’s at and her room number, and it’s the first interaction they ‘ve had in a month. Louis has always loved Gemma like his own sister, and she’s still his sister-in-law. This should be his nephew as well as Harry’s, and he won’t miss the chance to see him and Gemma.

He thanks Harry vaguely through a text and drives to the hospital. He keeps hoping that Harry won’t be there at this point, that he won’t have to see him and feel old wounds resurface. Louis knows, logically, he should just face him. They should talk like adults, but Louis isn’t done being upset yet. He still needs more time to think, even if being alone hurts every second of every day. 

Louis knocks on the door quietly, slowly opening the hospital door to the room Harry sent him to. “Is there a new mommy in here?”

“Come in,” Gemma calls softly.

Louis walks in, no Harry in sight, but Gemma holding her baby boy and Anne beside her. Louis smiles easily at the gorgeous picture in front of him. 

“Congratulations, love,” Louis murmurs, walking towards the bed and kissing her cheek. “Oh, look at him! He’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Gemma smiles tiredly. “Alexander.”

“Beautiful,” Louis says. “Hi, mum.”

He walks over to his mother-in-law and kisses her cheek. She hugs him tightly.

“Hi, love. How have you been?” she asks, his voice gentle. Louis loves her so much, so glad he got such a great mother-in-law and not some evil spawn of Satan that hates him. 

“I’ve been better,” Louis murmurs, hugging her back. “But this is about Gemma and her little Alexander. Where is Conner, anyway?”

“He went down to get food,” Gemma tells him. “He should be back in a few minutes.”

“He must be thrilled he got his little boy.”

“Oh, he is. I think he almost cried with joy, and Conner doesn’t cry.”

“Is, um…Harry still here?”

“No, he left a little while ago. He had to be in the bakery,” Gemma says sadly. “You two still aren’t talking, then.”

“No,” Louis shakes his head, sitting next to Gemma and taking Alexander from her, cooing at him. 

“You two are both being stubborn, you know,” Gemma says softly, but not in a mean way. Louis knows she just wants the best for them. 

“I needed time apart from him, Gems. He said some pretty awful things and we aren’t in the same place right now. We don’t want the same things and I need to figure that out on my own.”

“I just think you two belong together,” Anne says sadly. “And this fight is silly. You should just talk it out.”

“Harry doesn’t want to talk to me, either,” Louis tells her. “Trust me. He had no problem packing up and leaving and not looking back. I’m still mad at him, and I need more time.”

“That’s fair,” Gemma sighs, running her fingers through her son’s few wispy strands of hair. 

“You’re both very headstrong,” Anne says. “That’s the problem.”

“We both had good mum’s,” Louis smiles a little. “Taught us not to take crap we don’t deserve. We both feel we were treated unfairly and we have to handle that by ourselves before we can come together again.”

“I raised a very stupid boy,” Anne sighs. “He’s being ridiculous.”

“I’m not going to disagree,” Louis smirks. “But I don’t think that’s your fault. I’m sure his arsehole friend Nick scared him out of an idea of babies because that man is afraid of commitment.”

“I hate that guy,” Gemma mumbles. “I always thought he’d be thrilled to have a baby. I was so angry with him when he told me.”

“So was I, believe me,” Anne says. “At least I’ve got one grandchild for now.”

“Don’t be dramatic, mum,” Gemma rolls her eyes. “You’ll get more.”

“I know that,” Anne shushes her. 

“So, um,” Louis clears his throat, not taking his eyes off of Alexander. “How is he?”

“Harry?” Gemma asks and Anne rolls her eyes.

“Who do you think he means?”

“Just seeing if we’re still on the same topic. I had a baby today, mum, I’m exhausted.”

“He’s like you,” Anne says. “Trying to act like everything is fine. He asked if we’ve seen you and if you were alright. He’s trying to hide how sad he is, just like you are. You two have grown so much together and you’re so similar and now you’re butting heads. One of you is going to cave, and I hope soon, because you both look miserable. This is a stupid fight.”

“It’s not stupid, mum,” Louis sighs. “This is about our future. This is about your grandchildren that your son is too stubborn to give you.”

“I know that,” Anne says. “But this shouldn’t come in the middle of your relationship and cause you to separate.”

“We’re both mad at each other right now. We aren’t going to…get divorced or anything. Or at least, I certainly don’t want to. I just wanted time on my own to consider things and time to cope with that, and let Harry do the same.”

“I just hope it doesn’t take too long,” Gemma says.

“I hope so, too,” Louis mumbles.  
~  
“Gemma? Conner? The door was open, so I just-“ Louis’ words die in his throat when he sees Harry sitting on the couch for the first time in two months. 

“Gemma is just changing Alexander,” Harry says, trying to make it sound casual. “Conner had to help his sister move.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you’d be here,” Louis says, straightening his posture and crossing his arms over his chest. He feels suddenly defensive in the presence of Harry, someone he used to feel so safe with, someone to be himself around. 

“I could say the same thing,” Harry says, rubbing his sweater-covered bicep. “Gemma didn’t tell me.”

“Probably part of her plan or something,” Louis mumbles, looking down at the floor. He’d love nothing more than to jump into Harry’s arms, kiss him, and tell him to come home, but he’s not done thinking yet. He still needs some time, and if Harry’s mind hasn’t changed yet, Louis’ hasn’t, either. 

“Here to visit Alex?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “Wanted to help her out a little, if she needs it. I’m sure she’s exhausted.”

“Yeah, same,” Harry says. “Know she’s been tired and Conner isn’t here right now to help.”

“Oh, hi, Lou,” Gemma says, coming out of the nursery and sounding out of breath. She’s holding Alexander almost like a football, a burp cloth thrown over her shoulder and her hair in a messy bun. The dark circles under hear eyes give away the pure exhaustion she’s feeling. Louis rushes to her side and takes the baby out of her arms.

“Hi, love. Why don’t you take a nap? You need your rest right now more than ever. You have to take care of yourself,” Louis soothes, lightly bouncing Alexander in his arms as he speaks. Tears well up in Gemma’s eyes and she hides her face with one hand.

“I’m so bloody tired,” she whimpers. “I knew this would be a lot of work, but I underestimated how much work.”

“I know, love,” Louis murmurs comfortingly. “You go sleep, or even take a bath, if you want. Go relax. Harry and I are here. We’ll watch him for you. Never hesitate to ask us for help, because we love you and we love Alex and we want to help you, understood?”

“Are you sure?” Gemma sniffs. “I don’t want to put this on you.”

“You’re not putting anything on us,” Harry speaks up, walking over to them and putting his hand on Gemma’s upper back. “We love you, Gems. Louis is right; you have to take care of yourself, too. We’ll take good care of him.”

“Hey, don’t cry,” Louis chastises. “Go. We’ve got him. Milk in the fridge?”

“Yeah,” Gemma sighs with relief. “Just fed him, though, so he should be falling asleep soon.”

“Alright,” Harry nods. “Now go, go, go, before I have to shove you out.”

“I’m going,” Gemma hands up her hands. “Thank you both so much.”

She kisses their cheeks, then presses her lips to Alexander’s forehead and murmurs some mummy gibberish to him before walking out of the room, glancing back at them only twice. 

“Hello, Alex,” Louis coos softly, walking in a circle around the coffee table. Gemma told him that Alexander likes to be walked around and it helps soothes him and get him to sleep. 

“He’s really beautiful, isn’t he?” Harry says quietly, coming besides Louis to stroke the baby’s head. 

“Gorgeous,” Louis smiles. “Gemma and Conner make very pretty babies.”

“They do,” Harry agrees.

They sit on the couch, Louis taking advantage of getting to hold a baby in his arms. He held him close and let him hold his finger until he started to fall asleep.

“Have you thought about it at all?” Louis asks quietly, afraid of breaking such a fragile moment. 

“Louis…” Harry sighs, and it’s enough of an answer. Louis smiles tightly at him.

“Never mind. Forget I asked.”

“Louis,” Harry says again, but Louis shakes his head.

“He’s asleep. We can’t do this right now. It’s really okay.”

Harry lets it go, and Louis is grateful. Hearing that Harry doesn’t want a baby, especially in the presence of such a beautiful newborn, would tear him apart. Louis would rather pretend everything is all right. In his mind, this is their baby, in their home, and everything is okay. 

Even though it’s not.  
~  
“So happy you’re here, poppet,” Jay smiles, pulling Louis into a big, motherly hug at the front door. Nothing helps Louis feel more at ease than a visit home to his mum and siblings. It’s about a month until Christmas, his birthday, and he just needs to be around his family right now. He was hoping that by this point, he and Harry would have already made amends, but they’ve had no contact since their awkward night watching Alexander together; not many words were exchanged at all. 

“Me too,” Louis whispers in her ear, smelling her familiar perfume. He can smell sugar, flower, and vanilla on them, making her famous sugar cookies she’s been making since he was a little boy. “Worked out so well that Lottie came home the same weekend.”

“Yes, well, I just wish Harry was here with you.”

“Mum, please don’t start,” Louis sighs. His mother took it insanely hard, even though he assured her this didn’t mean they were getting a divorce. Jay fell in love with Harry from the moment they met, and she told Louis afterwards he’d be the man Louis was going to marry. Louis believed her.

“I’m sorry, this is supposed to be happy,” she claps her hands together. “Come in, I have cookies and tea for you and Lottie and Daniel are in the kitchen waiting for you.”

Lottie had just gotten married in the summer to a great guy Daniel. He walks in to find them at the kitchen table talking and drinking tea.

“Can I interrupt?” Louis asks. Lottie turns and smiles, standing up and running to her brother to hold him in a tight hold.

“Louis!”

“Hey, Lotts,” Louis smiles, rubbing her back. “Missed you.”

“Missed you!” Lottie says. Once she got married, her and Daniel had moved almost an hour out of Doncaster, moving even farther away from London. Now, it’s even harder for them to get together to see each other. “No Harry?”

“Can we not talk about him this weekend?” Louis says, his face falling. “Please? This is supposed to be a nice, family weekend. Okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Lottie says with a sigh. “I’ll drop it.”

“Thank you.”

Louis greets Daniel and sits at the table, taking a cookie and fixing himself a cup of tea. His hands itch to make Harry a cup, a habit he can’t seem to forget about. Sometimes, in the morning, Louis makes two cups of tea; one fixed how Harry likes it, even though he’s not there to drink it anymore. Louis will remember, eventually, and frown, bringing himself to pouring the sugary tea down the drain. 

He shakes it off, stirring milk into his mug and taking a bite from his cookie. “How was your weekend away in Paris?”

“Gorgeous. It was so lovely. You should definitely go with-“ she closes her mouth quickly. “Um, you should make the trip there sometime.”

Louis gives her a tight smile, his gut twisting in his belly uncomfortably. Harry and Louis have always wanted to take a trip to Paris but were both so busy that they never made it away. Right now, he doesn’t need to think about that.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to. One day.”

“Did you know my Lottie refuses to give me grandchildren?” Jay chimes in, huffing as she putters around the kitchen.

“No kids in your future?” Louis asks, taking another sip of his tea. He’d really rather not talk about babies, because it’ll just make him think of Harry, but this is isn’t about him, and he needs to realize that. 

“Daniel and I decided that it’s not really for us. We both want to travel the world and we really can’t do that with kids. Parenthood isn’t for everyone, but that’s okay. We’re okay without them, and we want to live our life to the fullest without worrying about babysitters and college funds. Kids just…aren’t our thing. It’s no big deal.”

Louis hums and pictures it. She’s right, because without kids, they won’t have to worry about spending and saving money, however selfish it might sound. Babies are expensive, and without them, so much more is affordable. They can take holidays as often as they want, without the distraction of kids, and not worry about leaving them home for too long. They could save for a nice car, or travel Europe, or redo their kitchen. They. Every time Louis thinks of the future, Harry is there, like he’s supposed to be.  
~  
When he comes back to London from his weekend at home, he’s ready to make amends with Harry. He doesn’t want to spend anymore time apart, especially not with Christmas coming. Christmas has always been their favorite time of year. Every year, they go all out with decoration. They buy a big tree and use the corniest ornaments, decorate the fireplace with garland, put fake snow wherever they can fit it. Harry always has some kind of Christmas scented candle burning, or a pot of potpourri simmering on the stove to give the whole flat a warm Christmas smell. They always have Christmas cookies on-hand in their snowman cookie jar, and there’s plenty of candy canes lying around. 

Louis has had a lot of time to think, and far too much time alone. He finally comes to a solid conclusion, and decides exactly what he wants, even if it stings a little bit. 

So, he calls Harry. 

“Louis?” Harry answers, sounding shocked he’s hearing from Louis. 

“Hi,” Louis whispers, feeling like there’s not enough air in his lungs. He takes a moment to try and breathe. “Baby…it’s time to come home.”

“Oh, Louis,” Harry sighs like he hasn’t let out a breath since their split. “I wanted to call you so badly. I’m ready to come home.”

“Please.”

“I’ll be there soon, baby, okay? I’m coming home.”

“Good,” Louis sniffs. He won’t cry. He definitely will not cry. 

“I love you, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Louis lets it fall easily from his lips in one gush of air. “Come home.”

They hang up after a few moments of listening to each other breathing. Louis eventually gains the courage to put his phone away and busy himself while he waits for Harry. It suddenly feels like a decade since they’ve seen each other, and Louis’ heart is jack rabbiting in his chest. He craves to be in Harry’s arms, to breathe in his smell, to feel his skin and his lips on his own. He wants them to lay together in bed for as long as possible, uninterrupted, in each other’s arms. 

The knock on the door makes Louis’ breath catch in his throat and he rushes over. He knows Harry still has the key, but he’s still cautious of boundaries, and Louis is so fond of him it hurts. 

He throws the door open and they both take a long look at each other, trying to recapture everything they haven’t been able to see every day. Harry opens his arms and Louis falls into them with a quiet sob. Harry places his bag on the ground and picks Louis up, his legs automatically wrapping around Harry’s waist. They can’t seem to hold each other tight enough. 

“God, Louis, I’m so stupid. I can’t live without you. I missed you so much,” Harry murmurs quickly into Louis’ neck.

“No, baby, I was stupid. I should have never told you to leave. I’m so stupid, I’m so sorry,” Louis apologizes, putting his hands on Harry’s neck. 

“We were both stupid, okay?” Harry says, his own eyes getting shiny as he speaks. “We won’t be stupid anymore.”

“No, never,” Louis agrees, shaking his head. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Harry says again, leaning his face up to kiss Louis’ bottom lip. 

“I need you so badly,” Louis rushes out. “Please, Harry.”

“Yes, yes,” Harry nods, holding the back of Louis’ thighs tighter and moving quickly to their bedroom. Their bedroom, Louis thinks, because they’re going to get to share it again, every night, and Louis refuses to let it go again. 

Harry lays Louis down on their bed, head haloed by his pillow. Louis’ legs never leave from around his waist, only pulling him closer to his body. 

“I need you,” Louis breathes, clutching Harry’s curls between his fingers, bumping their noses together. “I don’t care what else happens, as long as you’re with me. I don’t want anything except for you. I don’t need anything else.”

“God, Louis, I’ve missed you so much. I’m such an idiot. I need you too, baby. I’ll give you the world if you want it, okay? I will give you whatever you want. You deserve everything good this world has to offer, okay?”

Louis closes his eyes and hums. He takes a deep breath, relishing in the smell of Harry, the smell of home that’s been missing in their house with Harry gone. 

“Just—make love to me, okay?” Louis asks, his voice breaking on the last work. “Please.”

“Always and forever,” Harry promises, kissing Louis’ bottom lip and nipping it softly. 

Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s neck, lifting his head off of the pillow to deepen their kiss. Harry’s warm hands sneak up Louis’ shirt, feeling over his stomach, pecs, nipples. His right hand pauses over Louis’ heart, pressing his palm down over the erratic, hammering beats. 

“Hey,” Harry murmurs against Louis’ lips. “Alright?”

“Relieved,” Louis answers. “Very relieved and happy, is all.”

“Me too,” Harry smiles slowly.

Harry kisses his cheek, lifting Louis’ shirt over his head and tossing it away. He looks down at his body and touches the metal lying over his chest. “You’re still wearing my ring.”

“I never took it off,” Louis murmurs. “You were always with me.”

Harry sucks in a breath at that. Louis’ hands snake away from Harry’s neck and move down his shoulders, his sides, his hips. His fingers tug on the elastic band of Harry’s sweatpants, a delayed realization that Harry isn’t wearing jeans. It’s rare he ever wears sweatpants: only if he’s exhausted, or sick, but other than that, it’s jeans, fancy pants, or, when home, naked.

“Wearing joggers,” Louis mumbles into the skin of Harry’s neck.

“What’s the point of trying to look good? You’re the only one I want to look good for,” Harry says, smiling crookedly. 

“C’mere,” Louis says, leaning up to kiss him again. Louis feels pleasantly warm all over, down to his fingers and toes. It spreads through his chest, and he thinks, if it were possible, his body would be glowing. He wonders if that same warmth is radiating through Harry, too. 

Louis shoves at Harry’s shoulder, giving him the hint that he wants to be on top. Harry rolls over onto his back, onto his side of the bed, and it floods Louis with comfort. Louis crawls on top of him, pulling Harry’s jumper off and giggling when his head gets stuck.

“Sorry, love,” Louis murmurs, getting the tangled sweater off.

“’s okay,” Harry grins. 

Louis presses a kiss to his lips, pulling the elastic band away from his hips and pushing it down. Harry wiggles out of his sweats, Louis helping him pull them down his thighs, calves, and finally getting them off completely, throwing them off the bed. He does the same with Harry’s underwear, finally letting his hard cock spring free onto his stomach. Harry’s hands reach for Louis’ hips, giving a rough yank at the band of his sweats and tugs them down.

“In a hurry?” Louis laughs, wrapping his fingers around Harry’s wrist.

“Just missed you a lot,” Harry says quietly. “I want you so badly.”

“I know,” Louis murmurs, bringing Harry’s hand up and kissing the inside of his palm. “Me too.”

“Please, Lou,” Harry says lowly. 

“Alright, yeah, I know,” Louis says, reaching over Harry to grab the lube and a condom from their bedside table. Harry watches him and flips them over again, taking the condom out of Louis’ hand. 

“No.”

Louis’ eyes go wide and he watches Harry toss the condom back onto the nightstand. “What?”

“C’mon,” Harry murmurs, nudging Louis’ legs apart with his own thigh. Louis swallows, his heart in his throat. He was willing to give up the idea of a baby for a while if it meant getting Harry back. He’d give up the idea forever because these past few months have taught him that he’s unable to live without Harry. After his visit home, especially after talking to Lottie, he realized he might not need a baby, at least for a while. They could save money, take holidays together, spend more time alone together in intimate ways. But, if Harry is going to offer him a baby, Louis is certainly in no position to deny him. He knows it works for Lottie and her husband, but Louis has loved children since he was an adolescent, and he knows in his gut that he and Harry are going to make a kickass set of parents. 

“Lou? Are you alright?” Harry asks, his voice breaking Louis’ thoughts. Louis jolts slightly but smiles, nodding.

“Wonderful,” he hums. “Go ahead, tiger. I’m ready.”

Harry grins and presses a kiss to his jaw, his chin, his lips. He picks up the lube from the bed and Louis lifts his legs, pulling his knees into his chest and spreading them into a V shape. He let’s out a long breath when he feels Harry’s middle finger prod at his hole. He hasn’t touched himself since their separation, so he’s a little bit out of practice and extra tight, but he knows Harry always takes his time to open him up so he’s not in any pain. Sometimes, Harry is too gentle, taking way too long to prep him to tease him, or being too wary of being as rough as Louis wants him to be, in fear of hurting Louis. Louis will roll his eyes at him for it, but inside, he’s so fond, so amazed by how gentle Harry is with him and caring for his wellbeing. It leaves him feeling warm all over. 

“Extra tight today, babe,” Harry murmurs, putting his free hand over Louis’ belly and using it as leverage to slowly fuck his finger in. He’s careful and slow, pulling and pushing, and using his thumb to swipe underneath his balls. 

“Haven’t touched myself since you left,” Louis replies sheepishly. 

“You never deserve to be untouched,” Harry says, and Louis knows it’s meant to be sincere, but laughs anyway.

“That didn’t even make sense.”

“Don’t ruin the moment, please,” Harry says seriously, but one side of his mouth quirks up. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know,” Louis says, putting his hand on the one on his belly and intertwining their fingers, letting them sit together on his hip. 

“Can I give you another?” Harry asks. Louis feels a tug on his heart for how gentle Harry is. Harry knows better than anyone what he can and can’t handle, when he’s in the mood and when he’s not, when he’s ready for more and when he needs time. Harry doesn’t need to ask Louis, not at this stage in their relationship, because he knows Louis can take more. 

“You already know I can take it,” Louis breathes. 

“Making sure,” Harry shrugs, pushing in a second finger slowly. “Been a while for us, hmm? Didn’t even get to have our anniversary sex.”

“We didn’t,” Louis agrees, his thumb brushing Harry’s knuckles. “But you can make it up to me.”

“Watch me,” Harry grins. He scissors his fingers and opens Louis up with careful precision. Louis bucks his hips and whines a little, trying to chase those fingers. Harry presses a third finger in and Louis moans.

“Yeah, fuck, Harry. Right there, perfect,” he babbles, throwing his arm over his face. His breathing gets harder and his belly expands and deflates greatly with each breath. 

“I love you so much,” Harry says, his voice low. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m going to take such good care of you for the rest of our lives, I promise. I’ve been awful, but I’m going to make it better, okay?”

“I love you,” Louis gasps. “God, please, get inside of me. I forgive you, okay?”

“Yeah?” Harry asks, his fingers slowing and he looks down into Louis’ eyes. “You do?”

“Yes. Water under the bridge right now, yeah? C’mon, please, I’m begging,” Louis whimpers. 

“I’ve got you,” Harry promises, easing his digits out carefully. Louis spreads his legs further, if that’s even possible, and whines in the back of his throat.

“I need you so badly.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Harry soothes and rubs the inside of Harry’s thigh. He grabs more lube and slicks himself up and puts a hand on Louis’ hip. Louis watches him with hooded eyes and puts his hand over his belly. He tries not to think about what it would feel like with a baby inside.

His mind is completely blank of any sort of thoughts when he feels Harry pressing against him, his cock pushing inside slowly. Louis gasps quietly as all the breath is pushed from his lungs. Harry’s hand finds his and they intertwine, Harry’s lips pressing to Louis’. Harry doesn’t break eye contact with Louis as he bottoms out, his pupils blown wide and his hair falling into his eyes. Louis uses his free hand to push his fringe back.

“You good?” Harry asks and Louis nods.

“Wonderful,” he replies softly. “Go ahead.”

Harry smiles and leans down to kiss him tenderly, their tongues brushing slightly. Harry rocks into Louis with a steady rhythm, pulling moans from Louis. Harry lays his body flat over Louis’, fucking into him and sucking on his jaw. Louis bites on his lip and pulls on Harry’s hair, moaning out his name.

“Yes, fuck, Harry, mm, so good to me.”

“Like that?” Harry murmurs lowly in Louis’ ear. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis whimpers, Harry’s weight heavy on him in the bed way. His cock is trapped between his own belly and Harry’s, the slight friction wonderful. It feels like a lifetime since they’re been together like this. They haven’t really been in the same room much, to start with, but now, they’re actually _together_ in the most intimate sense of the word, and it spreads warmth all over Louis. He’s missed Harry in every way: his smell, his gentle hands, his voice, his touches, his love. It’s a little overwhelming to have it all back at once and it makes his head spin. 

“We were so stupid,” Louis gasps. “So fucking stupid. How could I—shit, ever—mm, God—live without this?”

“You won’t have to,” Harry promises, fucking into him harder. “Together forever and always.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods brokenly. “God, yeah. Love when you talk like that.”

“I know,” Harry smirks, putting his hands on the back of Louis’ thighs and pushing them up higher. “We’re gonna be together for the rest of our lives. I love you so, so much and I’m never, ever going to stop.”

“Harry,” Louis whines.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Harry murmurs, kissing down his jaw. “You getting close?”

“Yes, yes, please,” Louis whimpers, thrusting his hips up to gain some friction on his cock on Harry’s abs. 

“I’ve got you, baby. Can you hold on until I come?”

“I, I don’t…” Louis trails off, his eyes squeezing shut when Harry thrusts faster and faster. Louis’ fingernails drag down Harry’s shoulder blades, sure to leave marks. He tries his best to hold off for Harry, gasping under him.

“I know you can, baby,” Harry soothes, moving his hand between their bodies to grip Louis’ cock by the base, cutting off his orgasm. “I’m almost there, love.”

Louis sobs out, his cock starting to ache with the need of release. His legs flail around Harry’s hips and he can’t stop the moans from falling from his lips. Louis knows a lot of guys are embarrassed to be the bottom, or like porn so often calls them, “bitches”, but Louis has no shame about it. He knows it doesn’t dictate anything about his personality, and it doesn’t automatically make him feminine. He knows what he likes, and he knows how good it feels to be fucked. No man that’s come before Harry has been this good, though. Louis isn’t sure if it’s because they’re in love, or because Harry knows him better than anyone, or simply because it’s Harry, or a combination of all of that, but it’s never been so good. He knows a lot of guys feel discomfort or pain, and he experienced that the first time around, but Harry knows exactly how to take care of him, how to prep him properly and get him in the right headspace for something so big. Harry himself experiences some of that discomfort and pain, no matter how well he’s prepped. He often won’t be able to stay hard from it, or it takes him a long time to get harder again when he’s getting fucked, so it’s very rare they do it that way. It works this way for them, and they don’t think anything is wrong with it. They’re both sexually and mentally satisfied in their roles, and it just fits. 

“Harry!” Louis cries, feeling wetness underneath his eyes. It’s starting to ache so bad, and he can’t take it anymore. “Please, fuck, just let me, please!”

“Okay, okay, shh, baby,” Harry murmurs, slowing his hips down and letting go of his cock. He sits up on his knees and gives him a few deep, thorough thrusts. He continues to hold the back of his thighs, squeezing the flesh their and his eyes roaming his body. Louis glances down to his cock, an angry shade of red, and can just see Harry’s cock peeking in and out between his thighs. The sound of their skin slapping only makes it all so much hotter, and he can’t hold it anymore. He’s usually so good about listening to Harry and obeying his commands, but it’s been too long without this, and he can’t hold back any longer.

“Ah! Ah, ah, ah! Ha, oh, rry! Ngh, oh, ooh,” Louis babbles quickly, his voice loud and tone high pitched. Harry doesn’t say anything, but starts to fuck him a little faster, balls smacking against his cheeks. Louis keeps his eyes open as much as he can to watch Harry, and he thinks about what might happen when Harry finally, finally comes inside of him for the first time ever, what might happen in the weeks to come as a result. Louis tingles with excitement all over and lets out a chocked scream, cock spurting wildly. White ribbons of come streak over his belly, some reaching up to his collarbones and one long one finding its place on his chin. 

His belly rises and falls quickly as he tries to recover, but he really can’t with Harry drilling into him, using his spent body. Louis absolutely needs him to come inside of him, though, and he might be a little oversensitive, but it’s a different kind of feeling he welcomes. 

“Hold on, baby, just gimme a second, fuck, you’re so fucking hot, fuck, just, god,” Harry groans, his brows pulled together in concentration. He thrusts harder, faster, his nails digging into Louis’ thighs. Louis tries to keep his whimpers at bay, his whole body tingling. 

Harry finally comes with a low grunt, forcing himself fully into Louis and holding himself there. Louis understands why and fondness blooms in his chest. His feet dig into his lower back to pull him close. Louis swears he can feel it fill him up, flood his insides, and hopefully make them a baby. 

Harry leans down to suck the come from Louis’ chin and pull on his lower lip. Louis tastes himself on Harry’s lips and hums, putting his hand in Harry’s hair and combing his fingers through it. 

“Think that’s good?” Harry asks against his lips.

“Yeah,” Louis smiles a little. “Think that’s good. Now get out, it’s aching.” Louis shoves at Harry’s shoulder and giggles. Harry laughs and obeys, pulling out carefully. Louis clenches, wanting to keep as much inside as possible to use to their advantage. 

“I’ve got a present for you,” Harry murmurs, lying next to him and throwing his arm around Louis’ waist. 

“Nap first,” Louis says. “I can’t wait to see what you got me, but I’m so thoroughly fucked I’m exhausted. You did your job well, tiger.”

Harry laughs, always laughs at Louis’ jokes. The “tiger” pet name came from their first time together, and it’s stuck ever since. They started off slow and gentle, but Harry ended up fucking him so hard and rough and nearly raw, and Louis came twice from it. Afterwards, Louis called him tiger, saying his stamina was incredibly and he was an absolute animal. It was definitely a good thing. (Louis was more of a bunny: ready to fuck, but in more of a gentle way. He liked to lay and take it, most of the time). 

“Alright, fine, we can nap first. I missed sleeping with you in my arms, anyway,” Harry whispers, holding him tighter and kissing his cheek. Louis settles into him and he hasn’t felt so content since September.  
~  
After a blissful nap, one that leaves Louis leaving more rested than he’s felt since Harry leaving, Harry ushers him out of bed. Louis is soft and sleepy and tucked into nothing but Harry’s jumper and fuzzy sucks. 

“You’re going to give me my gift under the tree? How cute are you,” Louis grins. 

“It’s a proper Christmas gift,” Harry explains. “Wrapped and everything.”

“Alright,” Louis nods. He pulls the sleeves down on his jumper to cover his hands from the cold. 

Harry runs to grab his messenger bag from its previously dropped spot by the front door from earlier. He pulls out a perfectly wrapped rectangular box, paper a light blue filled with snowflakes and penguins and polar bears. Harry hands it to Louis with a soft smile.

“Hope it’s okay,” he says softly, his cheeks flushed. Louis tears it carefully and opens the white box. He almost sobs when he sees what’s inside, and there are definitely tears blurring his vision. 

“Harry,” Louis whispers. He pulls out the smallest set of red feetie pajamas he’s ever seen, a little reindeer on one side of the chest, the other side with the saying “Best Present Ever”. It is the best present ever, and a baby would be an even better gift. “This is…amazing. I don’t know what to say.”

“Hold on, a little something extra,” Harry says, pulling a cake box carefully from his bag, meticulously packaged in the plushness of his clothes. He lifts the top to reveal an exact replica of the top tier of their wedding cake they never got to share together. Now, it’s got an added fondant onsie on top, the exact one Louis surprised Harry with on their anniversary: navy blue with a white anchor. Louis loves him so much it aches. They never got to truly celebrate their anniversary properly, and this is the perfect gesture, tying in a new baby. 

“Don’t say anything,” Harry says quickly before Louis can respond. “Let me talk. I was so stupid and it was so wrong of me do what I did. I should have compromised with you instead of getting so angry about it and saying no. I think I was just scared and worried but that was so stupid because we both love kids and we’re both so good with them. Every day away from you was so awful, and I realized the reason was horrible. Then Gemma has Alex and I saw you with him and I fell even more in love with you. Holding him felt so right, like everything was complete, and having a baby with you…nothing would compare to that. I was scared and nervous and selfish but I know we can do this. I want to have a baby with you, a lot of babies, because we’re going to be such great parents together. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but I’m ready to be back home and build our family.”

Louis is crying, of course, because it’s so much, and he’s so happy he thinks joy might burst out of his chest in the form of confetti. They can start their family. Harry is home, and they can do this. 

“That’s all I want,” Louis sniffs. “I was pushy, and it’s not all your fault. I wouldn’t let it go and wasn’t willing to wait. We can wait, if you want. I mean, if you’re only doing this to please me, we can wait a little longer. I thought about it a lot, too, and we can hold off.”

“No, no, I’m saying this because I mean it. I don’t want to wait. I want a baby here in front of the tree next Christmas. I want a little baby cousin for Alex. I want to see you pregnant and glowing as soon as possible. This is for both of us,” Harry assures him, putting his hands on either side of his neck. “Is that okay?”

“That’s perfect,” Louis laughs wetly. “That’s exactly what I wanted. But what about your career?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Harry says simply. “I was over exaggerating. We’re going to be just fine together. We’ll take some time off and figure it all out one day at a time.”

“What we should have been doing,” Louis says.

“Sorry it took me so long to catch up,” Harry smiles lopsidedly. 

“That’s alright,” Louis replies quietly.

“Besides,” Harry shrugs. “We may have already made a baby.”

Louis grins so hard that his cheeks hurt. Harry’s hand comes to his belly and they smile at each other, Louis’ hand covering Harry’s.

“Yeah, maybe.”

They kiss once, softly. Louis breaks the silence by whispering “is this blue velvet?”

Harry laughs loudly, kissing him again.

“What else?” Harry murmurs.

Louis’ heart grows twice its size.  
~  
On Christmas Morning, Harry’s last gift under the tree from Louis is a small red box. Inside holds a positive pregnancy test. It’s their best Christmas (so far. Every year after holds new adventures filled with babies, a dog, and a lot of happy memories).

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is hilourry and i love feedback :)


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